Take That Job And Shove It!

I've known people who have found some odd things in our trash cans in my lifetime, but the other night my husband came inside and insisted I come out and see what was in our trashcan. (Anyone who knows me knows my answer was of the immediate "are you nuts" variety. I mean who wants to go peeking in trash, even their own?) GROSS!

Three days later I'm STILL hearing about it. (I now know why older people love their hearing aids and the ability to turn the volume up or down or off!) I STILL do not want to go sticking my head into our trash, especially since he now informs me it's been floating in there for the last three days. YUCK!

His next attempt to lure me outside is "And it looks like a hairless pig!" I'm almost curious enough to go look, but the stink factor keeps me away. But only almost! I mean I had a fetal pig in high school that I had to carry around in a coffee can for weeks at a time--it was not a pretty sight (and it smelled to high heaven too!)

I gave him suggestions meant to keep him out of my hair like "Call the CSI department at "XYZ College", maybe they need something to practice figuring out decomposition on." I mean hey, CSIs have to be trained on something, last I heard lots of schools put a dead pig in a trash can for months and they let the lucky students test the maggots. (OH god, cannot imagine who would want that JOB!) I now know why someone would sing "Take this job and shove it!")

Then I tried "Call animal control, maybe it's an animal that was sick and they'll want to know about it" (yes, I am SURE they'd want to know, at least more than I do!).

Or "Did you ask our next door?" (Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for them, they'd gone on vacation!)

Then I tried "Just grab your shovel and bury it deep, really deep." (Figured the deeper he buried it the longer it would take and the less I'd have to hear about it!)

Finally (thank goodness!) it was trash day and our trash men came and took it away! Now I just get to hear about it, not urged to go see it.

Does anyone else have a spouse who just can't LEAVE IT ALONE? I mean once you've made it obviously you are not going to go running to 'look at it.' It's like having a four year old again! Yes, I suppose it's a good thing he was out putting the trash cans away, and that he wasn't sitting inside watching a movie or reruns on television, but please! please! please! NO MORE PIG STORIES! Enough is enough!