The Black Madam has been in the news lately in the Philadelphia area. Allegedly she gave injections to women to increase the size of their uh... posterior. Buttock enhancement...say it isn't so! It surely must be a cultural thing because as far as I know, no one I know wants a bigger backside. In fact most of us would willingly give half of ours away so we don't have to spend quite so much time at the gym trying to get rid of it! And we surely aren't letting some non-medical practitioner pump us with a 'mystery substance' and then cover the wound with superglue.
The idea of paying someone anything (let alone up to $1400 the Black Madam allegedly charged some 'clients) to give me dangerous injections purportedly to make my backside bigger? Just not happening here. I know the beauty of size is in the eye of the beholder...obviously I'm not a fan of big buttocks.
But if you're considering this 'enhancement' here's something to consider: There are just two medically legitimate ways in the United States to reliably enhance the buttocks, silicone implants and fat grafting. (By a plastic surgeon, not some stranger in a hotel room!) Fat grafting is the procedure of choice, but medical grade silicone may be used for patients without enough body fat to graft.
No matter what anyone tells you, the use of products from your local home improvement store will NOT work. Using caulk, silicone, Fix-a-Flat or cement from your local home improvement store is NOT a medically approved or safe way to enhance body parts. None of these products are designed or safe for medical use. It's why they are sold in the home improvement store and not a pharmacy!
(The picture in my mind of someone trying to use Fix-a-Flat to boost their booty size... boggles the mind.)
A large backside can cause a variety of problems. First there's the all important 'I can't find jeans to fit.' Finding a good pair of jeans that fit is hard enough with a 'normal' size backside, but by enhancing it you make it just that much harder to walk into The Gap to buy a pair of jeans that fit.
Next there's the 'can't fit in a seat' problem. Whether the seat is at the ball park, on an airplane, at the movies or theater, in a roller coaster or even in a car, seat size issues increase proportionally with the size of your backside.
But by far the worst? The terror of looking in a mirror (especially one of the ones in the store that show you sides and back) or even seeing your reflection as you walk down the street is the worst. Seeing the sight that others see as you waddle down the street...not a pretty sight.
Bigger just isn't always better. But paying for bigger? No, I just don't get it. I mean would you pay for a bigger NOSE? bigger ears? And the fact is I don't get the plumped lips or breast enhancements either. No way am I going to PAY to enhance the size of any body part. But the Black Madam? HOW DID YOU EVER TALK PEOPLE INTO PARTING WITH THEIR CASH FOR BIGGER BACKSIDES? I mean they could have bought a case of Tastycakes and eaten their way to bigger buttocks. Or headed to the local fast food joint and eaten multiple burgers and fries. The options for adding poundage are all available at your local grocery store. Of course there is no guarantee the poundage will go where you want it.
Obviously you could be selling real estate in swamps. You wasted your talent on the small potatoes. You should have been frying bigger fish and raking in bigger bucks instead of shooting up the buttocks of strangers in hotel rooms. Just a thought for your next occupation once your legal issues are resolved.