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Thursday, December 29, 2011

Reality And Fairies In The Garden

Photo courtesy of Cloudcentrics

Was there a time in your life when reality hurt? When you'd rather talk to 'imaginary people' than to real ones?  Would you go back in time and make some changes?  Would I want to revisit my life in middle school, high school, college? And if I did what would I do differently? Wow, that's a tough one. Would I even want to go back and face those dragons again? Would I be any smarter this time around?

Maybe. Maybe I'd go back and work harder on my self-esteem issues. (Wow do we all have those issues as kids?) Yeah, I know, you never knew I had them...<G> I mean, I'm a world famous (ROFLMAO) blogger...but even for me, high school was a tough time. I fit in everywhere and nowhere. I was part of the in crowd and part of the dorks. I never quite found the place that really FIT. Looking back I realize I probably did 'fit'--we were all in the same boat, some of us just hid it better than others.

Did my grammar and high school days blight my life? No, but it sure would have been easier if I'd learned a few lessons sooner rather than later!

See I've always had a hard time with reality. Reality sucks. I mean really, reality isn't nearly as much fun as the life I live in my imagination (of course I have an active imagination!)  I would far rather play with the fairies that live at the bottom of the garden than go to work. But fairies, well as a grown up you start to realize they don't pay your bills. As a grown up there are a lot of times I'd rather talk to the people in my imagination than deal with REAL people. I mean, real people just aren't as much FUN! Real people have problems! REAL problems. Real people cop attitudes. They're difficult. They have jobs, responsibilities, families. And unfortunately few of us take the time to smell the roses or examine beauty of a single rose petal or a tiny violet or talk to the silver fairy who lives in her tiny dew drop house at the end of the garden.

As a child I never understood why when a teacher said whoever got the highest grade on the history test could be Abe Lincoln in the fifth grade play why she wouldn't let me do it. I got the highest grade. She let the BOY with the highest grade be Abe. She actually said 'you're a girl, you can't be president.' I'm still ticked off about that today! The reality was in Mrs. K's world women WEREN'T presidents or prime ministers or other people with power.  Thank goodness it's changed somewhat now.  But if I ever run into Mrs. K. I'll tell her just how much she ruined my psyche! I think that was the day she turned me into a mini-Gloria Steinem.

I think if I went back in time I'd like to learn to choose more wisely. Not to overestimate my abilities, but not underestimate them either. And I think I'd focus on being more assertive. I mean there are some things I'd need a brain transplant to change...face it, I'm never going to be able to master geometry and other advance math. It's just NOT my thing. The brain I have doesn't work that way. But I think I'd stop trying to do the tasks that are impossible, be more realistic. But still stretch myself. But would I want to give up the part of me that LIKES talking to the fairies or the people in the stories in my imagination. I don't think so. Would I want to give up the person who tortured her children by rewriting all the books as we sat and read each night? Or who made up whole stories just for them? No, I don't think so, but who knows what they'd say!

Photo from Garden Stew

OK, let's make one thing clear, it's not that I'm so far gone I think any of these fairies or imaginary people are real, or that I actually think I'm really talking to them. No, I just like the parallel universe I can create by storytelling. So blogging is a happy medium. It lets me tell the stories of my life while living in a real world. Perfect way to blend the two.   I guess that make the people I'm talking to fairies...that would be YOU!

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