Dancing for Old Ladies -- Life Lessons From Dance Class

One of the greatest life lessons was learned in dance class.  No, I wasn't one of those cute little five year olds in dance class, I was a chunky seventeen year old!  Classified by two of those cute little things as 'an old lady,' at 17!

Dance class...seemed impossible.  But together with my sister and two of her friends I braved the class.  My overweight body clad in unattractive tights and a leotard, the view was... well use your imagination!  Picture Rosie O'Donnell in tights (or don't, it might freak you out!).  But that was me.  Round, out of shape, and obviously not the top candidate for doing plies and splits.  And certainly not surrounded by walls of mirrors!

But it was a challenge.  And never one to back down from a challenge I signed up and kept on going.  As the teacher urged us on to kick higher, jump higher, and try new things, she's rap out 'IF YOU FALL, FALL REACHING!' 

I can no longer do those jumps or plies, but I did learn a life lesson from her.  Her mantra 'If you fall, fall reaching' has carried me through times I thought I just couldn't do it! It was just too hard. 

So if you're facing what feels like an insurmountable problem, remember the mantra--IF YOU FALL, FALL REACHING!--Better to have tried and fallen than never to have tried at all.  We learn from both our successes in life and our failures.  I may not have turned into a great dancer but I did learn the power of perseverance in anything I attempt.  It is the journey, not the destination that counts.  And if the journey stretches you, it's a journey worth taking.

Squirrels and Winning

Capt.Jack Squirrel after defeating Capt. Jack Sparrow -- How did he do it? He said 'it's all about focus.'  (photo link)

This battle between Harold and the squirrel went on for at least the 10 years I was his neighbor. I wanted to tell Harold that his attempts were futile and that he would never win this ‘War of the Feeder’; but I didn’t say anything. I just watched. It was cheap entertainment.

As this was happening, I started thinking about how unfair the match up was between a man and a squirrel. I didn't feel sorry for the squirrel...I felt sorry for Harold. Although Harold was stronger and smarter than the squirrel, he lacked the one quality that would guarantee him victory, focus.

You see Harold thinks about ways of preventing the squirrel from getting the food on occasion, when he has time. The squirrel on the other hand has its mind on getting that food 24 hours a day. The squirrel’s very survival depends on it. Survival brings about, not just focus but an intense focus on solving a problem by removing an obstacle. Unless Harold shows that same level of 24 hour commitment and intensity, I have my money on the squirrel every time.

Success is not about who is stronger. Success is not about who has more money. Success is not about who has a better GPA. Success is about who is more focused and committed to achieving their objectives. You, the reader, can compete with any person no matter who they may be. The only thing you have to do is commit yourself to focusing in on the very subject that interests you. When you focus in on one thing, like the squirrel, all of your mind’s resources are directed at attaining your objective and obtaining your rewards. With focus, you begin to take in more information quickly because you’re interested in learning, you want know everything. You are consumed by your focus to succeed!

Harold was not an expert in stopping squirrels; it was a task that needed to be done and he attended to it when he had time. The squirrel on the other hand became an expert at bypassing obstacles and solving problems because he focused all its attention on obtaining the end goal, food.

In today’s market, too many people want to be generalist (i.e., good at a lot of things or jack of all trades but master of none). But the market DOES NOT REWARD generalists, they REWARD experts. The market wants people who are good at doing a particular task; an expert. You want job security? Become an expert in your field of expertise. How do you become an expert? Like the squirrel, you focus.

Harold was 92 and died the year we moved from Minnesota.  I don’t know how long Harold fought the ‘War of the Feeder’ but as I drove off on the last day I looked back and saw a squirrel scurrying around the front lawn still trying to get to the bird feeder that still hung from the tree. Harold was gone but the squirrel was still around, still strategizing and still focused. The squirrel had won!

 

 

The above article is by  Victor Antonio G., top Hispanic motivational speaker and author of “The LOGIC of Success”. Copyright © 2004 by Victor Antonio G. All rights reserved. This article MAY be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, as long as the author’s name, website and email address are included as part of the article’s body. All inquiries, including information on electronic licensing, should be directed to Victor Antonio G.,  http://www.thelogicofsuccess.com/business-motivational-speaker-winning.htm.

 

 

Victor Antonio's "Logic of Success" truly hit home.  FOCUS...it's all about FOCUS.  I think of many of the successful people I know and their focus is the key to their success.  They forget all the extraneous things and people and focus on their goal.  Find your goal, focus with committment and intensity.  You'll be a winner.

Mighty Mom To Save The Day!

As my daughters were growing up our house was often a hive of activity--their friends were always here! If I had a quarter for every times I heard the phrase "Can I ask you for some Mom advice?"  I'd be the Warren Buffett of Blogdom!

I guess I just looked approachable--like I'd answer their questions, no matter what they were! I gave getting boyfriend advice, breaking up with boyfriend advice (and the gamut of questions in between!).  Today every time one of them is with me and we see a SEPTA bus (the local mass transit here) go by, the girls chime in "boys are like buses, another one comes along every ten minutes,"--advice they obviously heard from me all the time! I gave kids an ear when they needed it.  I didn't rat them out, but to this day I give thanks none of them came to me with problems that made me feel like I HAD to talk to their parents.

One of my daughter's friends told me I was "MIGHTY MOM!" I laughed, and wondered if I could put that on a resume to get a job to fill in those 'blank' years when I was home raising children! After all I do have 'super powers' although they are probably only powers another mom would appreciate.

I have the ability to sooth a child or teen who is in tears, negotiate arguments between crying teenage girls, cook dozens of cupcakes at the last minute for bake sales or food for parties; locate missing school bags, homework, sports equipment etc; run girl scout troops, help rodents deliver babies, run school fund raisers and the list goes on and on.  Yes, my suburban life has groomed me (and other moms like me) for life at the top in any corporation.

As I read this I think, hmmm...soothe people who are upset and negotiate arguments, obviously the government needs me in the Middle East.  Face it, half of a mother's job is crisis management! As for my cooking skills...the Food Network is really missing out on my skill sets; find missing items--I could be a PI or part of the police department (I can see it now "Carly's Mom, PI."  Look to your laurels Magnum!) I could run troops--the armed forces obviously needs my skills.  Delivering rodents, well I think I'll leave that skill off, someone just might offer me a permanent job in hamster labor and delivery or worse yet rat L&D ych! 

Yes, as a mom we all learn skill sets that are valuable--the trick is to generalize them into a marketable skills.  So my advice to other moms?  Keep being mighty and stay strong. Possibly your most important job is imparting to your daughters that women CAN be strong at work and at home or wherever they want to be.  It's all about CHOICE. 

Inspiration and drawing from The Toymaker, Whose Journal is chock full of maxims for living life creatively complete with her fabulous drawings.  If you haven't seen her books , available on Amazon and from other booksellers take a look, great Christmas gifts!

Wonder, Magic, and Imagination

A man who flies. Without a plane,without wings, he floats above us all and his performance entrances us by achieving what most would deem impossible. While I know deep down there is a 'trick' to this David Copperfield performance, I can't help but be entranced and feel a kinship with him.

Not just with Copperfield's performance but his ideas about dreaming and imagination. You see, I was that little girl who wanted to 'fly.' I wanted to live my dreams. I still do.

I grew up rich in many things, but most of all rich in imagination and dreams. I'm not sure what was richer, my dreams or my real life. But my dreams helped me through times when like most children I felt alone, lost, or forgotten in the world. My dreams were my own personal therapist and my own personal guidance counselor.  They supported me and guided me whenever I needed it. 

This is probably why I devoured books - any kind, any length, any topic. I admit,I grew up with my nose buried in romance novels. Not that I didn't know they weren't 'real,' I did. I knew nothing was THAT perfect. I just believed in the magic in them. Most of all I believed in the magic of love, friendship and caring. I believed that by giving love to others I could work to effect change.

What was your dream? Have you achieved it? Did you grow up and lose your dreams? Or are you one of the lucky few who are living their dreams?

I believe in living your dreams. It's what makes life full and worth living. It challenges me to be the best I can be in life.  It's what I challenged my daughters to do.  What people in my life challenged me to do.

And while I never saw this video before today, I always knew for me one of the most important life lessons I learned is to try to achieve those dreams and to never lose them. It keeps the magic in my life and in my soul.  What would life be without magic, wonder, and imagination?

History and contemporary life both are filled with men and women who are living their dreams.  Are you one of them?

No Guts, No Glory -- Or Testing Products Sold On TV

Kudos to Holly and friends for even attempting to use this weird contraption called the Aqua Skipper. They not only were brave enough to spend their hard earned cash (hopefully it comes with a money back guarantee, or Holly will improve her skill on it) but they were brave enough to post a video of them as they 'test drive' the Aqua Skipper online, showing they at least have a sense of humor.

I can't quite figure out how the people who produce this product ever got it into production. Who do you suppose looked at it and said "Oh yeah! We'll sell millions of these and get rich!"? I'm not sure which is scarier, the brave attempt by Holly et. al. to ride this contraption or the person who designed it to begin with.

But here at Defeating The Squirrel we applaud those who show us that it's not wrong to laugh at yourself sometimes, and that taking life uber seriously all the time won't necessarily make you happy. We also applaud anyone who thinks outside the box and inspires othes to do the same.

If you have a great video of you doing something brave, foolhardy(Without risking your neck, I don't want any lawsuits) or just gutsy, send it to me, I may make you famous!

The Jersey Shore of the Geriatric Set?

Photo Link

One of my daughters (much to my dismay) admits to watching Jersey Shore!  I am appalled.  I can't believe she admits to watching this TV trash!  For this I sent her to college? (Bad enough to do it in secret, but to admit you do? Face it, The Jersey Shore is the equivalent of soap opera watching but with a trashier twist!) Even though I grew up in the 70s in the era of free love and drugs, the antics of the characters on that show are embarrassing...especially since I am originally from New Jersey. 

But when I go out to visit my mom at the retirement community where she lives, I realize that she (and many of her neighbors) watch the antics of another group that are just as bad, if not worse, than Snookie or The Situation and friends.  All right, maybe they're wardrobe is a bit more sedate (all that gray fur that actually covers most of their little bodies wouldn't work for the Shore group), but their antics and swinging certainly make them closely resemble the Jersey Shore characters.  And the days of watching the squirrels offers the geriatric set the same sort of anthropological and cultural studies that Jersey Shore offers the MTV generation.  Scientists have spent years observing wild life in the same way future communication studies majors and psychologists will watch and observe the antics of reality television stars of The Jersey Shore. 

These gray haired players (the squirrels, not the residents) jump from eating at one feeder to attacking yet another feeder or one another in much the same way the Jersey Shore favorites bar hop and bed hop.  The squirrels go from apartment to apartment, checking to see who is willing to put out more food for them. They swing from feeders in outrageous ways much the way the Snookie and friends bar hop and they fall almost as often as the drunk Jersey Shore-ites.  And they are watched just as avidly by their fans -- the over eighty set at the retirement home. 

In the dining hall, ladies with perfect blue rinsed hair and gently balding gents in wire rimmed glasses avidly discuss watching their favorite squirrels in hushed tones over the dinner table (well maybe not such hushed tones when hearing aides are left at home).  They talk about their ingenious attempts to foil the squirrels who are attacking their feeders with the same gravity of solving weighty political problems.   

Is it as embarrassing to have a mother who's a squirrel watcher as it is to have a daughter engrossed with the Jersey Shore characters? Not quite--I can always ascribe the squirrel watching to scientific observation.  But it makes me wonder, what will I be doing in thirty years?  Hmmmm...

Becoming Your Dream

Most kids go through long lists of what they want to be when they grow up.  Sometimes their dreams are based on their parents and what they do, sometimes on wanting to change the world--but me, well, I wanted to be a Lion. 

Yes, I freely admit it, I was not too tightly wrapped!  You see I loved the way lions were always heard--their roar is unmistakable.  And I loved the idea of being king (well queen, but my ideas about gender specific royalty hadn't gelled yet so I wanted to be king) of the jungle.  And that great mane--almost the equivalent of having Farrah Fawcett hair but without dealing with the haircut and blow dry (I have to admit, today I still wish for great hair.)

My brothers and sisters told me 'You can't be a lion' which of course only made me want to be a lion more.  I was sure I would have the very BEST JOB! No boring fireman or doctor dreams for me!  I wanted to be powerful, brave and someone people listened to.  I was surprised when my siblings laughed (in fact they didn't just laugh, they roared with laughter) But I remained firm--LION--that was my career path. 

My sister told my mom to tell me I couldn't be a lion when I grew up--my sister was VERY REALITY based. Fortunately my mother told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up. I felt I had triumphed! MOM WAS NEVER WRONG! (at least when I was five, when I got to be a teenager it was another story). 

But as I got older I decided maybe being a lion wasn't the best thing to be, maybe a wizard (remember this was pre-Harry Potter days, NO ONE wanted to be a wizard) or a dragon...or a unicorn.  I always had magical powers no matter what my career choice as a child.  As I reached middle school it was no longer cool to not be part of the crowd, so I spent some of those years with my nose buried in books.  I wasn't one of those kids who listened to all the same music my friends did (you're talking about a woman who didn't discover The Beatles until her thirties!), or who watched all the 'in' television shows.  I still insisted on being what my guidance counselor called 'different.' 

As I was looking for colleges to go to one of my siblings jokingly said "I guess by now you've decided not to be a lion"--still with laughter in their voice.  And while I realized I was never going to find a college with a major in being a lion, (I wasn't that divorced from reality) I decided I WAS going to be a lion in life. I was going to take the best qualities lions have and apply them to my life. I WAS going to be brave and take pride in myself. No one was going to need to tell me how good I was, I just WAS going to be the tops--I was going to be the best. And I wasn't going to live my life based on what other people thought, I was going to live my life the way I wanted to. 

I'm not five anymore, but I still dream, everyday, that I can be a lion in life. Friends got older and went off to more prosaic jobs--teachers, salesmen, mechanics, secretaries. And since I'm not five anymore I didn't grow up to be a wizard or unicorn or lion, but I still dream that I can BECOME a lion. I can be brave, treasure my dreams and try to live them. I can have strength and take pride in myself and who I am. And I try (in this peer pressure world) not to care what others think as long as I take pride in my work.

So in a way, I have become a lion. Just without the great hair! And everyday I thank my mom for telling me "You can be whatever you want to be," a very valuable life lesson for anyone--Thank you mom.