Wonder, Magic, and Imagination

A man who flies. Without a plane,without wings, he floats above us all and his performance entrances us by achieving what most would deem impossible. While I know deep down there is a 'trick' to this David Copperfield performance, I can't help but be entranced and feel a kinship with him.

Not just with Copperfield's performance but his ideas about dreaming and imagination. You see, I was that little girl who wanted to 'fly.' I wanted to live my dreams. I still do.

I grew up rich in many things, but most of all rich in imagination and dreams. I'm not sure what was richer, my dreams or my real life. But my dreams helped me through times when like most children I felt alone, lost, or forgotten in the world. My dreams were my own personal therapist and my own personal guidance counselor.  They supported me and guided me whenever I needed it. 

This is probably why I devoured books - any kind, any length, any topic. I admit,I grew up with my nose buried in romance novels. Not that I didn't know they weren't 'real,' I did. I knew nothing was THAT perfect. I just believed in the magic in them. Most of all I believed in the magic of love, friendship and caring. I believed that by giving love to others I could work to effect change.

What was your dream? Have you achieved it? Did you grow up and lose your dreams? Or are you one of the lucky few who are living their dreams?

I believe in living your dreams. It's what makes life full and worth living. It challenges me to be the best I can be in life.  It's what I challenged my daughters to do.  What people in my life challenged me to do.

And while I never saw this video before today, I always knew for me one of the most important life lessons I learned is to try to achieve those dreams and to never lose them. It keeps the magic in my life and in my soul.  What would life be without magic, wonder, and imagination?

History and contemporary life both are filled with men and women who are living their dreams.  Are you one of them?

No Guts, No Glory -- Or Testing Products Sold On TV

Kudos to Holly and friends for even attempting to use this weird contraption called the Aqua Skipper. They not only were brave enough to spend their hard earned cash (hopefully it comes with a money back guarantee, or Holly will improve her skill on it) but they were brave enough to post a video of them as they 'test drive' the Aqua Skipper online, showing they at least have a sense of humor.

I can't quite figure out how the people who produce this product ever got it into production. Who do you suppose looked at it and said "Oh yeah! We'll sell millions of these and get rich!"? I'm not sure which is scarier, the brave attempt by Holly et. al. to ride this contraption or the person who designed it to begin with.

But here at Defeating The Squirrel we applaud those who show us that it's not wrong to laugh at yourself sometimes, and that taking life uber seriously all the time won't necessarily make you happy. We also applaud anyone who thinks outside the box and inspires othes to do the same.

If you have a great video of you doing something brave, foolhardy(Without risking your neck, I don't want any lawsuits) or just gutsy, send it to me, I may make you famous!

The Jersey Shore of the Geriatric Set?

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One of my daughters (much to my dismay) admits to watching Jersey Shore!  I am appalled.  I can't believe she admits to watching this TV trash!  For this I sent her to college? (Bad enough to do it in secret, but to admit you do? Face it, The Jersey Shore is the equivalent of soap opera watching but with a trashier twist!) Even though I grew up in the 70s in the era of free love and drugs, the antics of the characters on that show are embarrassing...especially since I am originally from New Jersey. 

But when I go out to visit my mom at the retirement community where she lives, I realize that she (and many of her neighbors) watch the antics of another group that are just as bad, if not worse, than Snookie or The Situation and friends.  All right, maybe they're wardrobe is a bit more sedate (all that gray fur that actually covers most of their little bodies wouldn't work for the Shore group), but their antics and swinging certainly make them closely resemble the Jersey Shore characters.  And the days of watching the squirrels offers the geriatric set the same sort of anthropological and cultural studies that Jersey Shore offers the MTV generation.  Scientists have spent years observing wild life in the same way future communication studies majors and psychologists will watch and observe the antics of reality television stars of The Jersey Shore. 

These gray haired players (the squirrels, not the residents) jump from eating at one feeder to attacking yet another feeder or one another in much the same way the Jersey Shore favorites bar hop and bed hop.  The squirrels go from apartment to apartment, checking to see who is willing to put out more food for them. They swing from feeders in outrageous ways much the way the Snookie and friends bar hop and they fall almost as often as the drunk Jersey Shore-ites.  And they are watched just as avidly by their fans -- the over eighty set at the retirement home. 

In the dining hall, ladies with perfect blue rinsed hair and gently balding gents in wire rimmed glasses avidly discuss watching their favorite squirrels in hushed tones over the dinner table (well maybe not such hushed tones when hearing aides are left at home).  They talk about their ingenious attempts to foil the squirrels who are attacking their feeders with the same gravity of solving weighty political problems.   

Is it as embarrassing to have a mother who's a squirrel watcher as it is to have a daughter engrossed with the Jersey Shore characters? Not quite--I can always ascribe the squirrel watching to scientific observation.  But it makes me wonder, what will I be doing in thirty years?  Hmmmm...

Becoming Your Dream

Most kids go through long lists of what they want to be when they grow up.  Sometimes their dreams are based on their parents and what they do, sometimes on wanting to change the world--but me, well, I wanted to be a Lion. 

Yes, I freely admit it, I was not too tightly wrapped!  You see I loved the way lions were always heard--their roar is unmistakable.  And I loved the idea of being king (well queen, but my ideas about gender specific royalty hadn't gelled yet so I wanted to be king) of the jungle.  And that great mane--almost the equivalent of having Farrah Fawcett hair but without dealing with the haircut and blow dry (I have to admit, today I still wish for great hair.)

My brothers and sisters told me 'You can't be a lion' which of course only made me want to be a lion more.  I was sure I would have the very BEST JOB! No boring fireman or doctor dreams for me!  I wanted to be powerful, brave and someone people listened to.  I was surprised when my siblings laughed (in fact they didn't just laugh, they roared with laughter) But I remained firm--LION--that was my career path. 

My sister told my mom to tell me I couldn't be a lion when I grew up--my sister was VERY REALITY based. Fortunately my mother told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up. I felt I had triumphed! MOM WAS NEVER WRONG! (at least when I was five, when I got to be a teenager it was another story). 

But as I got older I decided maybe being a lion wasn't the best thing to be, maybe a wizard (remember this was pre-Harry Potter days, NO ONE wanted to be a wizard) or a dragon...or a unicorn.  I always had magical powers no matter what my career choice as a child.  As I reached middle school it was no longer cool to not be part of the crowd, so I spent some of those years with my nose buried in books.  I wasn't one of those kids who listened to all the same music my friends did (you're talking about a woman who didn't discover The Beatles until her thirties!), or who watched all the 'in' television shows.  I still insisted on being what my guidance counselor called 'different.' 

As I was looking for colleges to go to one of my siblings jokingly said "I guess by now you've decided not to be a lion"--still with laughter in their voice.  And while I realized I was never going to find a college with a major in being a lion, (I wasn't that divorced from reality) I decided I WAS going to be a lion in life. I was going to take the best qualities lions have and apply them to my life. I WAS going to be brave and take pride in myself. No one was going to need to tell me how good I was, I just WAS going to be the tops--I was going to be the best. And I wasn't going to live my life based on what other people thought, I was going to live my life the way I wanted to. 

I'm not five anymore, but I still dream, everyday, that I can be a lion in life. Friends got older and went off to more prosaic jobs--teachers, salesmen, mechanics, secretaries. And since I'm not five anymore I didn't grow up to be a wizard or unicorn or lion, but I still dream that I can BECOME a lion. I can be brave, treasure my dreams and try to live them. I can have strength and take pride in myself and who I am. And I try (in this peer pressure world) not to care what others think as long as I take pride in my work.

So in a way, I have become a lion. Just without the great hair! And everyday I thank my mom for telling me "You can be whatever you want to be," a very valuable life lesson for anyone--Thank you mom.

The Karma Truck Is Coming!

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~~~▄▄██▌█ ░░░░ The Karma TRUCK IS COMING!░░░░▐
▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ ░░░░I know a few people who need a ride░▐
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My friend Jamie posted this on facebook (TY Jamie).  Do any of your know someone who need a ride on the Karma Truck? (Of course you all knew I hadn't made it myself, I'm way too uncoordinated to get all those keystrokes where they need to go to get the truck to even semi-resemble a real truck!) Sometimes just remembering the Karma Truck is coming gives you the perspective you need to deal with things (and people) when life throws you a curve.  Once again, thanks to Jamie for the 'artwork.'

Etta May -- Or Food For Thought About Turning The Other Cheek

Etta May is one of those people you meet in life you never forget. She taught me life lessons I was glad for long after I met her in high school.  She taught me the importance of turning the other cheek.

Who was Etta May? Etta May was in my Foods class in Lenape Regional High School. She was what was known in the 1970s as 'mentally retarded' but would now be described as 'intellectually challenged.' Whatever you want to call it Etta May was one person who taught me important life lessons-the value of independence for everyone no matter what their abilities and of meeting unkindness with kindness.

I admit, in school I was one of those kids in the advanced classes. Foods was a class I took to avoid study hall. I wasn't really expecting to learn a lot, although in the end I learned more important life lessons there than in any advanced English, Science or History class I ever took. 

Etta May wasn't a beauty, but she always smiled. She wasn't always able to read the directions for recipes, but she was unfailingly NICE to everyone. She tried her best. She looked for the good in every person and inevitably found something in everyone to admire. And she taught me the value of teamwork and that everyone on the team has something to contribute.

Etta May was on my team in Foods Class.  This meant I and the three other girls in the class worked with her on a daily basis.  We all reacted differently to Etta May's challenges. One girl was a bully and cruel, we all ran interference because we thought Etta May needed our help. 

What we didn't realize was she'd known this girl her entire life and had learned her own ways to deal with her with no help from us. She simply turned the other cheek. I know, it sounds so, goody two shoes.  But it worked.  The more Etta May met (I'll call her Maureen, not her real name) Maureen's barbs with kindness the more Maureen was frustrated at not being able to bully Etta May.

The other three girls worked with Etta May but tried to do things for her without giving her a chance to try herself.  I showed Etta May how to do it and then let her do it herself.  Seeing her sense of pride in her attempts (some of which were successful, some not) made it worth it.  While her work wasn't always perfect, the teacher and I had an unspoken agreement that it was more important to let Etta May try than to have a perfect result. 

Etta May's pride in her accomplishments were something I'll never forget.  Be the accomplishment big or small, she was thrilled she'd done it herself.  I can't take responsibility for the way I treated her, that would be 'thank you Mom' who was the queen of teaching us things without making it seem like she was even trying and letting us learn how to do it even if it wasn't perfect the first time.

Years later the lessons Etta May taught me came back to me when I was faced with the challenge of having two daughters with similar disabilities. I was also faced with helping them help themselves or taking the easy way of out by doing things for them. 

Thanks to Etta May's unwitting but valuable guidance (even though she never knew she taught  me anything) I became the mother my children needed.  Etta May made me a strong advocate of mainstreaming and independence for the differently able. 

There were many times it would have been easier to do things for my daughters.  But they're grown up now and both live on their own and hold down jobs. Without the lessons learned from Etta May I might have been a very different kind of mother to them.  There lives might be very different than they are today.

I've often wished I could find Etta May and just give her a hug--she helped ME so much. She taught me life lessons I wouldn't have gotten any else in my education. And better yet, as every mother knows, she helped my children, even though she never knew them. (We all know that people who help our children are high on our lists of favorite people). She changed my attitude and outlook so I could help them. So if anyone out there knows where Etta May is today, give her a hug from me and my family.

Historical Nuns--Or Nuns Who Knew How To Do It Right!

Some people you knew growing up helped shape you into the person you are today.  Anyone who went to Catholic School probably probably had a nun or a group of nuns in that all important group.  Anyone reading this who is Catholic (and maybe a few who ended up in Catholic schools some other way) have some memories of that nun who was just... the epitome of nundome! (Yeah I know, not a word...like I care!) Mine was Sister Theophane Marie. Yes, I know, it's an unusual name, but some nuns had those in the good old days.  Not all of them had names like Sister Elizabeth Ann. 

Sister Theophane Marie was my first grade teacher-and my older sister's, and my younger brother's.  Not only that, she taught my dad in Sunday School, so her impact on our family, even if you just figure it out numerically, was significant.  Sister Theophane knew how to keep sixty-five to seventy students quiet and learning--all day long.  There was no ADD/ADHD in her classroom (or if there was it was too intimidated to come out.) 

My memories of Sister Theophane are so strong I can tell you just where her classroom was--walk in through the front door, past the Christ the King School office on the right and her classroom was the first one on the right!  Photo from the Parish Bulletin of Christ the King.

To me she seemed like she must be so so old! But actually she probably was a very young nun when she taught my dad, and not really all that old when she had us, but you know how it is when you're a kid--anyone over fifteen is old! 

Sister Theophane was a legend.  Not only did you have her while you were in school, her name and the memories of her class traveled with you for a long time.  I've run into total strangers, told them where I went to school and as soon as I mention Christ the King School they gasp and say "DID YOU HAVE SISTER THEOPHANE?"  My mom actually ran into people on a cruise who were talking about Sister Theophane (and it was the SAME one!).  What are the odds?

Full Teaching Staff at Christ The King in 1940 Top Row Left to Right: Sister Thomas Mary, Mother Vincent Marie, Sister Marie Agnes, Marie Lorraine. Botton Row, left to right: Sister Sylvato, M. Densie Boucher, Theophane Marie.  Photo from Christ The King Parish Bulletin.

Sister Theophane's one claim to fame (or claim to fame in my life anyway) was as the first adult who put me in charge of something and just left me to do the job.  Granted it wasn't a big job--but I felt like a big deal.  And she probably didn't REALLY leave me all alone, I'm sure she kept a good eye on us.  But the exciting position I held (just wait, I know you absolutely won't believe how exciting and important it was!) was as a candy girl.  I not only sold penny candy after lunch but I counted and wrapped the candy money each day. (Remember penny candy? Bit A Honey, Mini Hershey Bars, Tootsie Rolls, etc. School sold candy at lunch time and being a candy girl who sold candy and getting to count the money was a HUGE deal) OK, yes I know, not exactly head of General Motors or Citibank, but I was young! Give me time.

As an adult I've graduated from counting and wrapping coins, now I just head down to the local bank and dump it in a machine that counts it for me.  But by entrusting me with all those pennies and nickels and occasional quarters and making me one of the "Candy Girls" Sister Theophane not only gave me great math skills but she made me feel like a million bucks!  She taught me it's important to give children the opportunity to succeed on their own. 

For some reason I don't remember their ever being "Candy Boys,"  I'll have to ask my brother, he'll know.  Sexism was alive and well, and for once benefited females!

Sister Theophane had a few other impressive tricks. She convinced us all that there was a spanking machine in the janitor's closet. (We had no idea what was behind that big door but it sure looked big enough to be a big mean spanking machine!) and we were all cowed into submission.  Actually I was a goody two shoes anyway so it didn't take much convincing to stick to the straight and narrow!

She also showed me that sometimes showing that you know how to have fun and let people laugh at you is a good thing.  The school was having a music/talent show one year--and the memory of Sister Theophane teaching students to do the Charleston, her habit flapping with every move and students rolling in the aisles with laughter is seared into my memory.  Here was our religious, stern teacher, wearing a rosary around her waist and a large cross around her neck and she was kicking up her heels and showing us that people, even nuns, are multi-dimensional.  An important life lesson for every child. 

So kudos to Sister Theophane! She opened my mind to looking for the hidden facets in the people around me.  Sister Theophane was one of the first people outside my family who was highly influential in the woman I would become. 

Tell me about the first person who was influential in your life and how they shaped you into the person you are today.  Always happy to have someone guest post.